Saturday, December 22, 2007
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
My Day Job
I actually wrote this about my previous job, my current day job has very little data processing in it. This is my first green-screen project since the Bee thing.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Green House Gas
You know, one of the funniest topics a comic can write about is the environment. It's an age old tradition. The Stooges rift on coal emissions set the stage. The Marx Brothers on lead poisons in the garment industry, what a hoot that was. And who could forget Dick Cavet's hilarious rift on CFCs. Well, it may be cliche--but dammit, here is my environment Joke on SUVs.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Monday, December 10, 2007
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Monday, December 3, 2007
Friday, November 30, 2007
Black Republicans
Another oldie, but goodie. Black republicans. Yes, I was telling this joke before the song came out, good song--but the jokes not bad either.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Male Praying Mantis
Who doesn't like jokes about sexual insects? You know I do. Anyway, I've noticed I have quite a paunch, someone should have told me. Okay, somebody did tell me, but yelling it from a passing car isn't the same as loving encouragement.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Japan
I know I should be just posting the new stuff, but here is something I don't perform anymore about my life in Japan. Enjoy!!
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Shark Joke
I've only ever told this joke once. It's quirky, but its hard to set up. Maybe I'll try a little more energy on the act-out.
Friday, November 23, 2007
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Happy Thanksgiving
Happy thanksgiving everyone,
I saw it all over the internet yesterday (abc news,) that the president has pardoned his two thanksgiving turkeys. And that they will live out their lives in a petting zoo, in Florida. Is anybody falling for this. I mean, it's not just Bush its a cute presidential tradition that goes all the way back to Teddy Roosevelt. But really, he pardoned two turkeys, but he had three or four.
Check the presidents menu, he's not eating tofurkey, he's not having beets & Lentil soup, he's having TURKEY.
The sad thing is you know as he was pardoning those two turkeys Giblets & Gravy, Frank & Tom where in the kitchen--straining to hear their names.
Poor little guys.
I saw it all over the internet yesterday (abc news,) that the president has pardoned his two thanksgiving turkeys. And that they will live out their lives in a petting zoo, in Florida. Is anybody falling for this. I mean, it's not just Bush its a cute presidential tradition that goes all the way back to Teddy Roosevelt. But really, he pardoned two turkeys, but he had three or four.
Check the presidents menu, he's not eating tofurkey, he's not having beets & Lentil soup, he's having TURKEY.
The sad thing is you know as he was pardoning those two turkeys Giblets & Gravy, Frank & Tom where in the kitchen--straining to hear their names.
Poor little guys.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Allegedly
Its crazy to me how reporters misuse the word "allegedly". "The crosses burned on the lawn were an alleged hate-crime." So we're not sure what the intentions of the cross-burners were? We don't know maybe they had their crosses to close to an open flame. Maybe they were chasing Dracula or something, got their torches to close to their crosses, it happens. There was a bit on the local news about a convict who'd shot a cop and then ran away, and they still called him the "alleged" shooter. Umm, people saw him do the shooting. He's the one who's missing, armed and dangerous. If you're not sure he did it I'm not going to call you if I see him. I'm not going to waste my phone minutes--I'm allegedly broke.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
The DC Improv
The shows went pretty well. I'd say the usual weak-spot , the Friday late-went well. They were rowdy as per usual. I silenced a heckler--a drunk sexy lady. The audience was with me , though my retort wasn't that funny. They all laughed anyway.
stage
Ever wonder what the green room looks like? I'll give you a hint. Its green. Usually when you play one of the better rooms the food and drinks are free. The trick is that I'm usually so nervous I don't want to eat or drink before a show
.greenroom
There is a wall in back were all the comics have tagged with graffiti of when they performed there and such.
wall
There is also some gum there--possibly the gum of a great comic. Seinfeld, Chapelle, Carrot-top. It could be anyone's gum. Anyway, it's been there for a long time--there's a cough drop too.
stage
Ever wonder what the green room looks like? I'll give you a hint. Its green. Usually when you play one of the better rooms the food and drinks are free. The trick is that I'm usually so nervous I don't want to eat or drink before a show
.greenroom
There is a wall in back were all the comics have tagged with graffiti of when they performed there and such.
wall
There is also some gum there--possibly the gum of a great comic. Seinfeld, Chapelle, Carrot-top. It could be anyone's gum. Anyway, it's been there for a long time--there's a cough drop too.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Z-Room Comic "BeeHarmony"
I'd been kicking this idea around since the last 48 hour film fest about a bee dating video. We ended up doing the monkey thing instead. You have seen the monkey thing right?
But anyway, after spending a ridiculous amount of time working on my green screen/cartoonication technique it's finally done. And of course, its about a week away from the Seinfeld Bee Movie.
That's how it works in comedy folks. You were so cool in '82 with your Arnold impression, but by the time the nineties rolled around, it was just Hanz and Franz.
Anyway peep this kids
LANGUAGE="javascript">blog_tags('post', 'permalink.html', 'Beeharmony')
But anyway, after spending a ridiculous amount of time working on my green screen/cartoonication technique it's finally done. And of course, its about a week away from the Seinfeld Bee Movie.
That's how it works in comedy folks. You were so cool in '82 with your Arnold impression, but by the time the nineties rolled around, it was just Hanz and Franz.
Anyway peep this kids
LANGUAGE="javascript">blog_tags('post', 'permalink.html', 'Beeharmony')
Friday, October 26, 2007
Z-Room Comic About Damn Time
So, here it is at last the beginning of a blog. Of course, like everybody else I've been wanting to do it for forever and just now got around to it, when the rest of the world has just about stopped. I've never been very fashionable, why stop now. Anyway, "Z-Room" comic is a reference to the levels of comedy room. An "A" room is a dedicated comedy club that books big name comics: Your Jerry Seinfelds, Chris Rocks etc. A "B" room is where you'd go to watch the guys who were on the Chris Rock show, or in Seinfeld's less memorable episodes. And me, I play open-mics and gay bars. I am your back-alley comedian.
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