Gentleman's Club

My Day Job

I actually wrote this about my previous job, my current day job has very little data processing in it. This is my first green-screen project since the Bee thing.

Green House Gas

You know, one of the funniest topics a comic can write about is the environment. It's an age old tradition. The Stooges rift on coal emissions set the stage. The Marx Brothers on lead poisons in the garment industry, what a hoot that was. And who could forget Dick Cavet's hilarious rift on CFCs. Well, it may be cliche--but dammit, here is my environment Joke on SUVs.

Knock-Offs

Redskins

Female Suicide Bombers

Devil Beating his Wife

Wife-Beater

Black Republicans

Another oldie, but goodie. Black republicans. Yes, I was telling this joke before the song came out, good song--but the jokes not bad either.

Male Praying Mantis

Who doesn't like jokes about sexual insects? You know I do. Anyway, I've noticed I have quite a paunch, someone should have told me. Okay, somebody did tell me, but yelling it from a passing car isn't the same as loving encouragement.

Japan

I know I should be just posting the new stuff, but here is something I don't perform anymore about my life in Japan. Enjoy!!

Shark Joke

I've only ever told this joke once. It's quirky, but its hard to set up. Maybe I'll try a little more energy on the act-out.

Italian Wife

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy thanksgiving everyone,

I saw it all over the internet yesterday (abc news,) that the president has pardoned his two thanksgiving turkeys. And that they will live out their lives in a petting zoo, in Florida. Is anybody falling for this. I mean, it's not just Bush its a cute presidential tradition that goes all the way back to Teddy Roosevelt. But really, he pardoned two turkeys, but he had three or four.

Check the presidents menu, he's not eating tofurkey, he's not having beets & Lentil soup, he's having TURKEY.

The sad thing is you know as he was pardoning those two turkeys Giblets & Gravy, Frank & Tom where in the kitchen--straining to hear their names.

Poor little guys.

Pre-Holiday

Monday Morning Fat Joke