New Year, new direction

Yeah, I know its late in the year for resolutions, but I don't want to be cliche. Besides, there not even resolutions--they're goals that I moved from last years list to this year's. Anyway, I really want to focus on my writing more, as my current job: post-production on the Food Detectives show, is all night based. And surprisingly, there aren't too many day-time comedy shows.

Heath Ledger

Hilarious Japanese Prank Show

Hilarious Japanese Prank Show

Monkey Brains

According to K.C. Jones, in January 16th's Information Week. Scientist at Duke University were able to use the thought patterns of Rhesus monkeys, to operate robotic legs all the way in Japan. The Rhesus monkeys were placed on a treadmill with electrodes planted into their little monkey brains. The information gathered was then piped to Japan, where a computer interpreted the information for the robot legs.

So let me get this straight, we'd rather spend the time and money to train a damn monkey to walk on the treadmill, then walk on the treadmill ourselves.? God, I love America.

Jefferson Davis Highway

It always seems a little crazy to me, some of the things that are "normal" in Virginia. Have you ever been to Richmond? They have an entire street called monument avenue dedicated (mostly) to old civil war generals and such. They do have an Arthur Ashe statue, but that was a huge controversy. I know, I know the Civil War wasn't about slavery, or so they say. It was about states' rights. But a states right to own niggers? It seems to me, if you are going to erect statues of these people, they should be maintained with private money rather than tax dollars.

Hold that Tiger

I Hate Roman Numerals

I hate Roman Numerals, they always show up in things when it is least convenient: film credits and super-bowls (what number Super Bowl are we on again?). I wrote a joke about it, and it goes a little something like this:

Drew Peterson

Your Cat Wants a Full Suit of Armor (PICS)

Why humans invented armour... so they could dress their cats. Suit up cats with tournament gear and get em ready for battle.

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Gentleman's Club

My Day Job

I actually wrote this about my previous job, my current day job has very little data processing in it. This is my first green-screen project since the Bee thing.

Green House Gas

You know, one of the funniest topics a comic can write about is the environment. It's an age old tradition. The Stooges rift on coal emissions set the stage. The Marx Brothers on lead poisons in the garment industry, what a hoot that was. And who could forget Dick Cavet's hilarious rift on CFCs. Well, it may be cliche--but dammit, here is my environment Joke on SUVs.

Knock-Offs

Redskins

Female Suicide Bombers

Devil Beating his Wife

Wife-Beater

Black Republicans

Another oldie, but goodie. Black republicans. Yes, I was telling this joke before the song came out, good song--but the jokes not bad either.

Male Praying Mantis

Who doesn't like jokes about sexual insects? You know I do. Anyway, I've noticed I have quite a paunch, someone should have told me. Okay, somebody did tell me, but yelling it from a passing car isn't the same as loving encouragement.